I know how to smile even though it kills me so much deep inside. I know how to pretend everything's okay by adding a few extra "LOL"s and "haha"s when really I'm just sitting behind the computer screen with an ugly frown on my face. But worst of all, I know I'm just lying to myself and everybody else by saying "I'm fine".
Saturday - BBQ with the famm. It was alrightt. i got pretty sunburnt and got HELLA tann. haha it was kinda fun though. Made me reallize so many things about my family that i havent seen before. 6
Sunday- Went to Great America today. It was really hot and i put on alot of sunblock so i dont get any darker. We took a pic with lucy n Liones with charlie brown. HAHA and we hung out at the wave pool and the lazy river thinggg. Realllly chill n relaxing. Ate homade lunch afterrr. it was somee yummy chicken n garlic rice. Rode a couple a ride and watched the Snooopy party thingy and Snoopy ON ICE! haha went to san carlos for some wingstopp. getting sick of em noww. ate them twice on the same week haha. back to the gymm for me thoughh. it was a pretty goood day. 9
You see that girl staring into space? If you were to ask what’s wrong, she would say nothing, when in reality it's everything. She’s sitting there wondering what she did wrong, what she could have done differently, how she would have changed it if she had the chance. And if she had the chance to go back and do it over again, would it end with the same result? That’s why she stares.
Have you ever been angry or sad, to the point where you just break down at home, in your room? Your parents don't know because you keep the tears to yourself, and you cry silently. Your friends don't know because you talk as if you're fine and dandy behind the computer screen. Well you're not fine and dandy, and you know it. No one really knows how you feel, and they have their own lives to deal with, so you don't bother telling them, you bottle it up, and store it with the other problems or troubles.
Thank you for always being there for me. Thanks for never judging me. For all the times i needed you and you were right beside me, i thank you so much. Everyone needs a person that is there for them and always got their back. You are that person. The person who looks at the postives and proves the negatives wrong. All the things i have to go through is worth it for you. You make my life full of memories i cant forget. All the things you do for me are never unappericated. For the good and the bad i learned that as long as you come out of it stronger when you learn from it. you seen me at my complete worse and my very best. Never lose yourself because you are too good of a person to change into something else. Thanks babe.
I'm sorry sometimes. I get a little jealous, thinking that someone else could make you happier than I could. I guess its my insecurities acting up. Because I know I'm not the prettiest, smartest or most fun and exciting girl. But I do know you will never find someone that will love you much as I do.
One & Only. Your girlfriend should be your one & only. Make her feel special, k guys ? You’re lucky to have her even if she’s lucky to have you too. We know there are prettier out there but we like feeling as if we’re the only beautiful one in your eyes, & the only one you see.
“Ladies first.” No. That rule doesn’t apply to communication. Don’t wait for her call, text, IM, why don’t you try talking to her first for a change ? It’s thoughtful & sweet if a guy can actually do that.
Surprise her. You don’t have to drive an hour to her house at 3 a.m. to set off her name in fireworks in front of her window, but the little things are big things. A simple, good morning text, is more powerful than you think.
What insecurities ? For the love of god, all girls have insecurities. Please don’t point them out. For example, today I was looking at food & my boyfriend said “You eat a lot. You probably could beat me at a buffet.” WHAT. THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAY. Also, let her be herself. If she’s having a bad hair day, don’t make fun of her if it’s hurtful. Let her wear sweatpants & still feel pretty damn cute around you, even when she’s not looking her best.
Act the same around your friends. You’re not a real man if you completely blow off your girl in front of your homeboys. When you’re going to hang out with her & your friends you better not run off & leave her standing there to greet them like WUDDUPPP GUYSSS.. NO, you better at least walk with her & introduce her to them if you haven’t already. If you walk with her hand in hand, she’ll love it.
When she’s mad. Dude, you better try & get her back. Chase her, whatever it is, don’t let her walk away when she’s mad at you. It shows you don’t care enough to go after her. Don’t let her go.
Maintain. If you did a bunch of cute things with her before, try & keep it up. You don’t have to go all out everyday for her, but don’t stop completely just because you got her already.
Honesty. If you lie to her, you’re going to have one hell of a time regaining that trust because she’ll start questioning everything you’ve said or done for her, no matter how small that lie was. Fess up or get lost.
Trust. If your girl really doesn’t like one of your friends, trust, she has good reason to. Girls’ intuition -shrug- So don’t go hanging with your homegirl all the time if you know your girlfriend doesn’t like that bitch. She usually won’t hate for no reason. Respect her.
Saturday i had a bbq for jackie before she left for her summer internship in london. It was nice n hott at baker beach . mark toook 3 hours to get hte fire going -.- but after that the foood just kept coming n coming. There was also this YUMMMY cake. i usually dont like chocolate but that was a gooood chocolate cake. It was a goood time with jackie before she leave for the whole summer =/ she gnna miss out on my bdayy awww . whatver hope she has a great summer over there =D. haha
Today i just went to my brothers tournement and he got firstt place. that made my mom happppy . than we went and ate shanghai foood on el camino and thannn went and watched another game and thannnnn baskin robins. i shared a banana sundae with my mom and daddd. it was goood. than went home and took a nap for 2 and a half hours lol summmer is giving me alot of sleeeeping time hahaha
Rex was gone this whole weekend for a grad in riverside. i misssss him . haha havent got to see him or hear his voice the whole timee. mannn im gnna be happpy to see him tomorrow or SKYPE tonight hopefullly. babe if you read thhisss you better be skyping with me orr you called me ALREADY. Cant wait till you get backk!
I AM SO SICK OF YOU! GET THE FUCK OUT of our life. you need to know when to stop your desperateness. you are such a waste to the human kind. ive beeen so patient with all your nonsense. Some girls need to know when they just arent welcomed. Like FOREAL FUCK OFF. THE BOTH OFF YOU. dumb bitch. Some girls just dont know when to back off someone when they are like TAKEN. BITCH YOU KNOW HE IS TAKEN SO HONEY GO FUCK OFF. i swear i had enough of your fucking shit.
HAPPY 10 months babe! hahaha didnt get to see you today but i get to see you for the rest of the summer. i just got back from a bbq and i miss you alot. your at serramonte with your friends. hope your coming back home soon so i can talk to you. anywaysss if you read just know that i love you soo much. I appericate every little thing you do for me. Like telling me to “seriously” drink some milk lol or when you just want me to be happy OR when you do little things you dont have to do for me that shows me you care just that much more. awww your so sweet. you are more than i can ask for sometimes. Thru the really goood or the really bad , ill stick with youu. When we both know we love each other in the end the bad times will work out. ill cut it shortt. i love you babe! 10 months was nothing and we many many more months and years ahead of us.
For everything he does for me. He understands everything i go through. He is always here for me through the tough times and just makes me feel better. He is the closest person to me and he always be the closest thing to me. I know i don’t appreciate him enough because sometimes i ignore all the goo things he does for me and look for the flaws. But you know what? I LOVE you babe. and i appreciate everything you do for me. Don’t think its goes by unnoticed because i always see it and my heart goes out to you every time. love you a lot babeeee!